Kids Are Crud

When I was maybe about 5, I was on a flight with my mom and sister and as usual I was telling every person my whole life story. Well I was talking to this woman and I suddenly asked her "are you a boy a girl?" And she said "well I am a lady." And I asked "well why do you have that mustache?" Haha my mom yanked me so hard. I feel so bad I said that... but kids sure do say the darnest things!! I know have three kids, but only my oldest can talk, he's 5 and my other two are 21 months and 3 months. Oh boy!

I was at my sister-in-law's(who is 6 months pregnant) house with her and her 4 year old daughter. I have usually always been good about going to the gym, but have slacked off for the past month. We were all watching a football game on the couch. Her daughter walks over to me and starts whispering to my stomach. I started laughing and asked her what she was. She looked up with a huge grin and said, " Your baby is bigger than mommy's baby!" Needless to say, I began my strict fitness regiment the next day!

I am a 27 yr old step grandfather who has a 3 yr old and 8 yr old daughter of his own. Now then This just happened the other day My 7 month old step grandson has been constipated for over 3 days. Well i decided that prunes would help him, and yes did they ever. First off I changed his diaper and 45 minutes later he started whining when i picked him up he smelled horrible. I looked and thought somehow he peed and it soaked his entire outfit, well no. I looked at his socks and they were covered in poop took off his pants his legs were covered in poop, took off his shirt ( now this is where it really hit me) he was covered in poop up to the top of his neck under the turtleneck shirt he was wearing. So not only did i have a small baby boy covered foot to neck in poop here comes my 3 yr old from her bedroom at full speed to hug him for some ungodly reason at this exact moment. Needless to say my bathtub seen alot of action that night.

on my daughters 4th birthday she got a jump rope that had the jacks game in the package also. she ripped open the package and screamed i got a jump rope and.....and.....DNA!!!!! How the heck she knew what dna even looked like i have no clue. but she looked at me and said "mom why did you give me DNA?" She was kinda mad when i told her it was a game called jacks not DNA.

My nephew and I were just messing around one day we was just coming up with little hand shakes. For him and I to only know, the hand shake went Pop it Lock it, Put it in your pocket. So we did the hand shake and when you got to the part where you put your hand it your pocket he bust out Aunt Kissa i don't have any pockets. He is 3 years old. It was funny